So, my review of the spring semester courses and readings was cut short, against what I originally planned, and my tone was rather… agitated. I think my brain just wanted to get it over and done with, so it could stop thinking about college for a while. Not going to lie: pretty sure it was prolonged burn out that set in prior to spring break (which is never an actual break fro me unless I legitimately go on vacation) and a hefty dose of disappointment in a few things. However, while I’m not completely recovered from the burn out— that might take the rest of the summer; I have had enough time free of coursework (passed all my courses and finals, thankfully), to reflect from a more neutral space on the whole semester experience.
I also had the time to realize that this semester taught me some valuable lessons I will be bringing with me into my senior (and final) year of undergrad at URI. The first being obvious, based on the biggest issue from this past semester: never take two classes in the same semester with a professor you are unfamiliar with – in this case I did not appreciate her heavy emphasis on 18th century philosophy, nor her lack of trigger warnings, nor the excessively long discussion posts (she called them ‘open forums’) in one class that amounted to 4-5 page critical essays using multiple secondary readings every time. There were 5 of these on top of five or six Jane Austen novels, and essays. Moving forward, I will be mindful of this and not take a second class from a professor if I do not absolutely love their field work, personality, or pedagogy – and if I am completely unfamiliar with any of those things, I will not take more than one class per semester with that professor. I’m not saying the professor was a bad person, the main issues was that our individual academic or vocational focuses were truly misaligned and incompatible. Frankly, this wouldn’t be that big of an issue if the English department offered more courses per semester at more realistic times, and the university allowed for two weeks instead of five days time to decide if a class or professor is a good fit.
Unfortunate, but it happens. Lesson learned and archived.
I also learned second lesson; that if I do NOT bring food with me in some capacity, I likely will not eat much at all throughout the day, which means a severe lack of focus by lunch time and an inevitable afternoon crash – with epic levels of crankiness. I don’t like to deal with that, and I’m sure the people around me don’t want to deal with that fall out, either. So, moving forward, the night before class, I will also prep snacks or a small meal to bring on campus to keep with me — at least on days that I have more than one class. If not, I’ll just bring a snack to eat before or after class.
Locked and loaded here.
I have come two further conclusions.
One: beyond the ENG 367; Epics course I have already signed up for and will tentatively try the first week of the fall semester before deciding if I truly want to commit to it for a whole semester, I will do everything in my power to keep the remain English courses CONTEMPORARY. I’ve already had enough of Shakespeare in high school, including other “classics” like Count of Monte Cristo. Holy sh*t that was a dry read for a high school student! Even for one who loved to read since childhood and was often labeled the resident ‘book worm’. After a whole 14 week spring semester crammed with 18th and 18th century novels, I’ve reached my limit. I can say I’ve read them, but I will never claim that I was a fan. It’s highly unlikely I will ever crack open any of them ever again. Perhaps one or two novels of Jane Austen’s works were pleasant, but overall — I can honestly say that I may be a English Lit major, but that does not mean I am a fan of classic literature, especially anything English.
Which is quite amusing to me.
Perhaps the armchair historian/archaeologist in me will actually appreciate the Epics course, as I’m far more fond of ancients, than anything beyond the Viking age (pre-medieval era) to about the 1980s. Especially not the time from about 1400s to about 1900. The other hyperfocus is more futuristic, from bio punk and solar punk to other forms of eco-futurism.
At least, I’m honest. And I know myself well enough to admit that about myself out loud. Nor do I feel any shame for not fitting into the typical English Lit major stereotypes.
I’ve come to accept this about myself. I have niched interests, divergent fascinations and niched hyperfocus. That’s fine. I’ll find ways to work with that as I complete my undergraduate degree, and should I move forward with the final degree (a master’s degree) it will move towards the one of the two hyperfocus niches: deep history with a dash of archaeology or environmental issues and social innovation. Perhaps, specifically eco-futurism. I’m still dabbling and tasting and experimenting before I know for sure what my next step is beyond senior year at URI. I don’t actually mind the English undergrad, though. I am still developing and honing many valuable skills that will transferable across industries.
But I digress.
Two: under no circumstance will I attempt to do three or four classes back to back on the same day again. Being on campus and in a classroom surrounded by young adults from 8:30 am to 2:00pm with only 10 – 15 minutes to spare to move between them is NOT enough breathing room. It was definitely giving high school vibes all over again. Not at all what I was aiming for as I complete my undergrad. I am grateful that my two summer courses are the last of the Gen Ed requirements at URI, and will be asynchronous online and no need to set foot on campus — unless I get a summer job on campus, which is still a possibility. However, asynchronous courses give me the room I need to work a pt job and not have to twist myself in a pretzel to accommodate classes for the next four months.
As I registered for next fall semester courses, however, I’ve had to bite the bullet and schedule an evening course Mon & Wed, with two courses Tues & Thurs around midday. Meaning I can work a full shift on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Because I made a promise to myself to not sacrifice my weekends anymore, not even for money. I need weekends to decompress from peopling all week, keep up with coursework (especially readings and essay papers), and find time to actually live a life. I am actively working on two income streams on the side that (for now) I am keeping to myself until they are running well, stable, and established. Hopefully, the second one will become more passive by the end of this year.
On that note, spring semester (if things go well with how I’ve set up fall) will likely roll out in a similar fashion. The only difference being that I will only be taking the senior seminar and one other elective course on campus. The other two will be an independent study course incorporating the previously mentioned hyperfocus (which is very much lacking in the English department at URI – may that change for future students) and an internship that is both paid and for credit.
Beyond all those somewhat uncomfortable lessons, I did feel that I was far more sociable and engaged this semester with fellow students and classmates. I feel I owe that to my own inner work in part, building my confidence by actually stepping outside my own neighborhood, and to having a pretty decent number of good kids around me. It was interesting to have my lower level course taught by a current graduate student at URI, who is closer to my own age. Maybe that’s one of the reasons that class felt less stressful, the workload wasn’t excessive in any way, there were trigger warnings and a higher level of open-mindedness and more relatability than with much older professors.
However, I can confidently say that I technically survived junior year, and when I finish the six week summer courses from mid-May to mid-June, I will be thoroughly enjoying the two months off before senior year unfolds. I am so relieved to be entering senior year soon, and with that the end of undergrad. My focus now is to heal the burn out, prevent more burn out over senior year with these lessons in mind and more sustainable living, and looking forward to graduating around this time next year!
How about my readers?
Have you learned any valuable lessons in the past four months?