hello and welcome.
My story is a twisted trail through a wild and uncharted terrain. Nothing was ever easy… well, except for zoning out in Algebra class and doodling in my notebook, instead of concerning myself with trying to force my disinterested and overwhelmed brain to comprehend why [ y = mx + b ] would ever be relevant to me in the future.
spoiler alert: over a decade later and algebra has never become relevant, and I suppose its highly unlikely that it ever will.
I spent much of my life struggling with executive functions and regulating my capacity to focus on what OTHER people found relevant or of a higher priority. And being made to feel ashamed of this constant struggle, as if it was an inherent character flaw and not the disability that it was. Looking back, I mourned for the struggling, miserable, anxious, and lonely girl who only ever had her grandfather to love and accept her unconditionally. Sadly, that incredible man passed beyond my reach in 2008.
Ironically, my younger sister was diagnosed with classic ADHD as a highly motorized, rambunctious and loud child who was noticeably disruptive everywhere she went. It took me while to realize I had slipped through the cracks because I was much less “problematic” for the adults compared to my sibling. Instead, I was consistently dismissed as the brilliant daydreamer who just needed to try harder.
Fast forward to today as a recently diagnosed adult woman contemplating how to create an ADHD-friendly life where I can actually thrive on my terms. I have decided I am 100% done trying to hard to appear neurotypical. Done with efforting to the point of exhaustion in the hope of some day fitting into a Society that has no intention of accepting or appreciating my divergence. Done with denying the dopamine trail or stymming my own innate creativity and quirkiness.
I am Atalanta.
I am creative and sometimes messy.
I am intelligent and curious.
I am divergent.