It’s been a few weeks. A bit longer than I intended between posts.
It’s also about half way through this last semester at college and I cannot wait for it to be over. The drawn-out pandemic experience paired with the lack-luster transition to a local 4-year college (that is NOT adult commuter friendly) has solidified my negative opinion about American colleges. I’d be surprised if that ever changes, and it’s a rather difficult task to legitimately surprise me about anything.
The radio silence has been mostly contributed to how much time commuting, sitting in classes and doing coursework has eaten up my week days, and in between focusing on gathering resources for my own independent study and autodidact learning I’ll be switching to full time by January. I have already started studying the history, culture, language, formulation basics, and some herbalism in my spare time as well. Plus working on some digital design works for a new Redbubble shop. There is also some work on an Etsy shop I would like to launch soon as well.
I haven’t been just floating in space doing nothing!
I can say that even those small moving pieces have been leading to low key burn out. All this quiet, behind-the-scenes labour while trying to “get back to normal” with the new Delta variant on the rise still takes time, energy, and focus. The latter of which I tend to struggle with quite often, when I’m not hyper focusing on my autodidact studies. I do have a screening for ADHD in early November, which may confirm a long-held suspicion of some neurodivergence (Inattentive ADHD). There are other issues beside focus, like some struggles with executive function nearly my entire life, that has also contributed to this screening my therapist booked for me. I’m hoping, regardless of which way a diagnosis may go, I still get some answers and some much needed support.
I do feel a wee bit frustrated with how much time and energy a few classes at college are taking out of what I really would like to be doing now. I’m still feeling the squeeze of the rigid college major requirements, the general education credit transfer issue, the different (and often conflicting) expectations of professors, the different course structures, and the 40 minute to hour long commute. The only thing online college would change would be the commute, but not much else. I would need total autonomy in the subject matter of my studies ,and a little bit of structure and mentorship to keep me on track or when I was struggling with a core concept within my studies. I’ve gained enough clarity from all this to know that much for sure.
If you know of college that does all that for its students and doesn’t charge ivy league tuition, let me know!
Until then, I’ll wrap up my short time at Rhode Island College and continue forging my own path.